Joemma, go to hell. We get fired up, hot and heavy and discuss where we will
eventually get to meet each other, Hell (we are both definitely going – see you
there). Unfortunately, by then we will be transformed into immortal giant worms,
only be able to eat puree, and may be tickled for all eternity by Satan and his feather
duster of evil. All jokes aside, a critical examination of the photographic, auditory and
historical evidence that we present undeniably proves the existence of Hell under
your very feet, fool. Your carcass will be shaking in its boots, for 12 quintrillion years.
You really should take this shit very serious – Jesus does. It’s one Hell of an episode.
JoEmma
24 Responses to “Second Law, the Real Episode #2: Judeo-Christian Hell”
I actually remember the Art Bell clip. I use to insomniac, and you use to listen to him all the time. I remember waking up and my radio playing this… Oh how great was Art Bell? The best ones would be the time travelers, or the guy who got shut down while flying over area 51…
Good episode guys. Definitely getting better. I can’t help but be utterly confused by the numbering, though. I think I’ll just call this #7.
Hell is definitely a powerful psychological tool, it’s no wonder Christians love to use it. You can make a very vivid image of pain and suffering that can scare any child, but it’s hard to put “heaven” in specifically religious terms to a child. Hell is scary things and fire, but heaven, what’s that, like a kickass ice-cream place or what? I was raised largely irreligiously, and never attended church until Catholic school in the 7th grade, but I have a very clear memory of being terrified of the idea of Hell one night when I was maybe five and running to my parents’ room out of fear. I can only imagine what state I’d be in now if they had exploited that fear to tell me Jesus was the only way to avoid it. On the other hand I have no equivalent memory of being overjoyed by the idea of heaven, or whether I had an idea of what that was. Of course, there’s always Colton Burpo’s tale of having gone to heaven (“Heaven is for Real”) as a counterexample, but I find it hard to believe the story wasn’t actively shaped by the boy’s preacher father, not to mention the details included in the book I’ve been able to find without reading it aren’t very interesting. Jesus asks him to do some work and he’s happy to do it, Jesus wears a rainbow coat or something. Most joyous *cough*. I’d bet most people don’t t even know the Divine Comedy goes through purgatory and then to heaven. Hell is just way more visceral.
p.s. you should really warn your listeners when you put on such disturbing material!
I get it!!! The idea was to make us live through hell by having us listen to Art Bell over and over and over and over and over…….
Then when you think it can’t get any worse, you throw some Justin Bieber in our faces. Well I don’t have Bieber fever, but I do feel ill.
My son loves grinding his teeth & if gnashing sounds anything at all like that I might have to convert… but to which sect?! Fuck!
Oh well, I’m doomed anyway, no need to give up my sinning ways.
I loved Mel’s Hole on Art Bell. Obviously bullshit, but the guy told such a good story. I remember the Art Bell clip as well, I always remembering why it was supposed to scary.
@ Meowicus
My recollection is that hell was almost inevitable (just by being a normal person), whereas Heaven was really hard to get in to. So, we spent our childhoods fearing the eventual consequences of hellish thoughts/actions we may have performed, and desperately thinking of good things we could do to get into heaven. All of that instead of being proud of yourself for being a good, resilient, logical, strong, self-respcting, empathetic, generous, kind, intelligent person. Yay religion.
This was the best episode by far. You are getting much better with your banter back and forth. I laughed several times.
Emma, thanks for the obscure star trek reference.
Yay religion indeed.
And here’s a place where a diagram of the Earth is referred to as a photo:
http://www.jesus-is-savior.com/Basics/hell_inside_the_earth.htm
The author of the page is right, no one has disproved the Bible. In fact the challenge to disprove the Bible is so nonsensical, no one can possibly do it. Ergo Jesus.
Ok, that’s it. You do NOT criticize Gene Simmons when I’m around.
Re: The physical capacity of hell.
I think this was addressed in Dawn of the Dead “When there’s no more room in hell, the dead will walk the earth”. So you’ll know when hell is full when the zombie apocalypse begins.
Great episode. Always thought Billy Ray Cyrus was Satan’s Liege.
@andrew – This must be why all the 6 foot hell worms are leaking into the ocean.
Think of the worst sins imaginable. What comes to mind…perhaps the Holocaust, the 9-11 attacks, Achy Breaky Heart? How many years of torment would be appropriate for these offenses? A thousand years…maybe a million years.. .(okay, two million for A. B. Heart)…whatever. But at some point, the debt for even the most heinous sins has been paid. So…what kind of a douchebag god would punish people for all eternity?
And, of course, no intelligent debate on the subject is complete without Bill O’Reilly weighing in:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0KByxtK40zo
In case you can’t sit through it, his argument basically boils down to: There ought to be a Hell, therefore there is.
Issues go in, dimwitted reasoning comes out!
What was that super nintendo sounding power metal that played in one of the interludes?
@Anders That was from the soundtrack of Super Meat Boy:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ySiAcwjvQMM
Where’s Chuck&Leighton’s next podcast? If I don’t see one soon they will automatically be co-Skunk Dicks of the Year!
It’s like all year is October since they leased that property for their Halloween Haunt.
Hopefully one of the rooms will be the cries of all the damned Irreligiosophy fans, whaling and gnashing their teeth in anticipation of the next podcast.
This may be blasphemy, but the 2nd Law’s Judeo-Christian Hell podcast is better than Leighton’s horrible Hindu podcast.
Congratulations Joemma! I never thought that a 2nd Law episode would be better than an Irreligiosphy episode! Let us all donate money to buy Joemma beers to celebrate!
Leighton’s Hindu podcast was a bit… special olympics if you know what I mean.
Best episode so far, Joemma. The soundbytes are definitely a defining part of the voice you’re developing. It is a great touch. I particularly liked hearing a reboot of Sean (Shawn?) Allred. There was no real mindblowing info, but it was a fun overview.
This may be blasphemy, but the 2nd Law’s Judeo-Christian Hell podcast is better than Leighton’s horrible Hindu podcast.
That’s not blasphemy, that’s an extremely low bar.
Art Bell rules!! You aren’t worthy to lick the bottom of his shoes!!
Keep working at it. This episode was great, but you two need to quit asking Leighton for advice on sound equipment and get something that sounds good.
Hopefully one of the rooms will be the cries of all the damned Irreligiosophy fans, whaling and gnashing their teeth in anticipation of the next podcast.
Does whaling involve a lot of crying?